Define "chronic" masturbator.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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