At least make sure they are 18
Why
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
