This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
