Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
