We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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