Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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