i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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