using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
