Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
