If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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