I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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