Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
