She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
