dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
