We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
