I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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