dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
