I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
