At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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