Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
And then he peed in my hair
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
