Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
