Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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