Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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