Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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