we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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