ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
