I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
