he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
