Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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(323): View more from California

i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Special does not even begin to describe that text.

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(540): View more from Virginia

the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .

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(479): View more from Arkansas

What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is

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