listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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