Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
