Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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