there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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