i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
