I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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