So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
