Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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