So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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