you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
