oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize