this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
