Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
