He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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