explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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