It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
