dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
