If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
