Already got asked if we're dating
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
