Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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