Can i not drive my cunt home
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
