After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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