Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
